Lilian Madan Gamble – A Son’s Eulogy For His Mom

Lilian Madan Gamble – A Son’s Eulogy For His Mom

Black and white picture of Lilian Madan Gamble holding her baby son Eric Gamble with his favorite Snoopy Cap on
Lilian Madan Gamble holding Eric who was wearing his favorite snoopy cap!

It has been one month since I lost my mom, Lilian Madan Gamble.

I struggle to write this post for many reasons. Perhaps, it is because it doesn’t really feel like she is gone yet. Or perhaps, it is because I am not sure it is quite proper to share such a post on a Bucket List blog. But, after much consideration, I decided to share this to not only honor my mom but also to perhaps inspire others with her story.

Lili, my mother, lost a long a tough battle on March 13, 2020 and the past month has been a mixture of all kinds of feelings and struggles for me. I loved and still do love my mom as any son would! She was one of my biggest supporters of The Bucket List Project. She loved hearing all about Darcee and my adventures around the world. But, she especially loved it and rooted hardest, when we worked hard on our Helping Others Bucket List to help others fulfill their own bucket list dreams.

Because of her, I am the adventurer I am. She so loved seeing the world, trying new foods, and meeting new people herself.  It was one of her best traits that I personally am glad she instilled in me. She also loved seeing me personally grow and I only hope that I can become the man that she so longed me to be.

So with that said, I wanted to share the eulogy I gave my mom at her funeral mass with everyone. Hopefully, it can inspire everyone to learn to grow, love one another, and perhaps even find a bit of adventure in this short life we all have. I have never had to write a eulogy before, so please forgive me if it is a bit lacking. For a son to write a eulogy for his mom is a near impossible task that I don’t wish upon anyone. But if you will allow me, I wish to present it now to all of our family and friends.

A Son’s Eulogy For His Mom

Family picture of Darcee Snider and her parents along with Eric Gamble and his Grandmother and mother, Lilian Madan
Two families united with Darcee and her parents along with Eric and his Grandmother and mother, Lilian Madan Gamble

On behalf of my Grandmother, Lilian Madan, my sister, Lilian Catherine “Lica”, my wife Darcee, and myself, Eric Rafael, I would like to first thank Fr Pineda, Fr O’Hare, and Fr. Whitestone (this was changed to Fr. Walsh & Fr. Rodriguez) and everyone who helped us prepare for this celebration of my mother, Lilian Madan Gamble. With all that is going on in the world, your thoughts, prayers, efforts, and love for my mother have meant the world to us.

I have never had to write a speech like this before, so please excuse me because I am not as elegant as some of my uncles nor as linguistically skilled as my wife or sister. So, in preparation for today, I essentially had to researched how to do this.

A Eulogy vs. An Elegy

In my research, I found that often people get confused during times like this between an Elegy and Eulogy. To be honest, I didn’t know the difference either. So, to clear things up, I channeled my inner Tio Rafael and dug deep into the origins of each word. Here is what I found:

An Elegy comes from the Greek root word Elegos which roughly translates to a Song of Mourning. While, a Eulogy is derived from two Greek root words, “EU” which means Good and “LOGOS” which means speech. Thus, when combined, Eulogy translates to a Speech of Good or a Song of Praise.

So, why does this matter today?

I bring this up because in the last year or so, people have approached me to discuss my mom’s state of life. Conversations about her were sometimes full of sorrow and remorse. Adjectives were used like, Tired, Weak, Frail, Sickly, and even Depressed. Now, of course, those people saying these adjectives not intending them to be hurtful. But, these kinds of words could easily lead our thoughts about her life toward regret or mourning.

And that isn’t how I wanted my mom remembered.

I wanted this speech…this service…this day to be a Eulogy to my mother! I want mine and every memory that each of us carry of her to be a true Song of Praise!

Lilian Madan Gamble, The Benevolent

Lilian Madan Gamble laughing with Alicia Madan and her daughter Lica
Lili laughing with her sister Alicia and her daughter Lica

Therefore, I am petitioning all of you to remember your Daughter, your Sister, your Tia, Your Mina, my mother with a different adjective. I petition her to be remembered as: Lilian the Benevolent.

Now for those who don’t have your dictionary handy, Benevolent is an adjective used to characterize someone who has the desire to help others by doing good in this world. Benevolent is synonymous with words like charitable, good, kind, gracious, helpful, and unselfish.

Now being her son, of course, I would praise my mother with an amazing word as benevolent. But to provide evidence to support my petition, I offer you the following examples:

  • Lili gave Gifts with Intention

Lilian Madan Gamble holding her Daughter Lica in New Orleans
Lili with her daughter, Lica

If you have ever been on vacation with us or to a Madan Family Christmas, you will recognize one of these bags! Poor Ali, Lica, and even Darcee have at one time been ”tortured” with the task of loading up bags like this for others on behalf of my mom. Often when receiving them, a person might see a random collection of bizarre trinkets and some were. But my mother didn’t see it like that. With these bags, she used whatever resources she had and tried to find items that matched something she thought you needed or could help you. For example, with her brother Ramon, she always insisted we overload your back with extra beef jerky and beef Slim Jims because in her mind she thought of you as strong! Thus, she wanted to make sure he had all that extra protein to keep you strong. And she tried her best to do that for everyone all the time. She always tried to give with intention even as silly as it seemed to us.

  • Lili Gave us the Gift of her Faith

Lilian Madan Gamble sitting with her three godchildren, Alex, Cristina, and Alicia Maria
Lili loved sharing her faith & spending time with her 3 godchildren: Alex, Cristina, & Ali Mari

My mother, much like her own mother loved her faith. She often prayed for godchildren, her brothers and sisters, and anyone she could remember. To be honest, I probably gave her enough disasters in her life to fill her prayer intention card alone, but she always thought of who needed prayers and added them in as well. She worked hard to instill the faith in her children as well, and because of her efforts and prayers, I truly believe it helped both her and I find Darcee!

  • Lili Gave her service as a Nurse to a countless number

In the first Epistle of Peter, chapter 4, verse 10 it reads, “As Each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s Grace”

My mother was given a skill for Nursing and thus used it to serve many people. For over 30 years, my mother was a registered nurse in New Orleans, Atlanta, and Virginia. She tended to the sick, the seriously injured, the elderly, the lost and forgotten, and even the dying. There was really no patient she wouldn’t help, and she would never say no to anyone in need of medical care. There are countless stories of her caring for the bedridden. She would often just take on the rolls of feeding them, cleaning them, or sometimes just tenderly holding them so they could feel connected again. This kind of gracious care can be seen in how she showed up and cared for her own father at the end of his life.

And Finally,

  • Lili Gave the Gift of her time

Lili and her sister Ceci spending time together on a Cruise
Lili spending time on a bucket list adventure with her sister Cecilia on a Cruise in the Caribbean

My mother wasn’t the most mobile of people, so if you wanted to talk to her it was kind of easy to catch her. Now, I am sure there were times when she wished she could run away from us, especially if I or Franco decided to share one of our long-winded stories.

Now her absolute favorite thing to do, besides talking with her favorite child, Nico, was to just laugh with all of us! She had such a great laugh.

But to be honest, she loved hearing everyone’s stories! She loved sharing her time with each and everyone one of us. It brought her so much joy sitting with all of you to hear about your adventures, your travels, your dates, how your work was going, or what great things you were doing in the world! Perhaps, she did this because it allowed her to join you in your life. But I truly believe she did this so she could then offer you praise and support in your joys and dreams! It wasn’t uncommon after talking to one of you that she would call me to brag all about the new job you got, or the awesome party you threw, or even as simple as the recent accomplishments your beautiful children had just accomplished. It was how she praised and supported you!

Now I am sure there are a million more examples to support my petition to remember my mother as Lilian the Benevolent. And in the coming days, weeks, months, and years, I ask that you share your own Songs of Praise of her.

There are no words to describe how much I will miss my mother. I pray that she inspires me and all of us to be as gracious, charitable, helpful, unselfish and well Just benevolent as she was!

I wonder what she is putting in all of those bags she plans on giving away in Heaven?

Sadly, Life Goes On

Lilian Madan Gamble with her Mother & Father in Cuba
Lilian Madan Gamble with her Mother & Father in Cuba

Sadly, life never does stop after you lose a parent. It will never be the same for me and my sister. But, I know that we will always carry our mother deep within our hearts. Personally, I know she will forever join Darcee and me in all of our bucket list adventures. I am sure I will see her everywhere in life and hear her laugh whenever I do something absolutely crazy or goofy. During this time, I am so very lucky to have Darcee, my family, and all of our friends who have reached out to support us and offer their prayers and thoughts. She loved so greatly and hopefully, I was able to honor Lilian Madan Gamble with a simple eulogy from her son.

Lilian Madan Gamble was a big inspiration behind The Bucket List Project. See what she meant to us in her in a Son's Eulogy for his Mom. #Mom #ILoveMyMom #Eulogy #BucketList #PersonalGrowth Click To Tweet

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22 thoughts on “Lilian Madan Gamble – A Son’s Eulogy For His Mom

  1. You truly honored your mom with this beautiful eulogy. In my culture, there is no such opportunity to honor our loved ones. I was only able to pay tribute in this way to my mom 10 years after her death when I started my blog. I would advise anyone faced with the pain of loss and grief to start a journal to help them cope.

  2. Dear Eric,
    I went to your parents’ first apt. in New Orleans for a Christmas honeymoon once. Your folks were in Virginia and their apt. was going to be empty over the holidays. We arrived not expecting full Christmas splendor. The halls had been decked and gifts for our new home were under the tree. You got that right! Lili was good with gifts.

    1. I had never heard that story before. My mom loved Christmas and loved showcasing her love by sharing gifts that were filled with thought and love for everyone. Thank you for sharing that wonderful memory, Diana. She always loved you and we have loved going through her pictures of both of you from a younger time!

  3. Very sorry to hear about your deep loss – please accept my heartfelt condolences. By inspiring you to explore the world on all these bucket list adventures, she in a way touched the lives of so many read your posts. Sending prayers to you and your family through this difficult time. Thank you for sharing this beautiful, inspirational tribute.

    1. Thank you Aditi for your kind words about my mother, Lilian Gamble! Your right, her inspiration for The Bucket List Project hopefully is trickling down into the hopes and dreams of so many other people’s bucket lists!

  4. I think you did a beautiful job of writing something that is almost impossible to complete. You will always be adding to this eulogy in your mind. That’s not a bad thing. It’s just part of the grieving process. I do the same for my partner, and it helps me get by. Wander with love, my friend. And keep writing!

  5. This is beautiful. It sounds like your mother was a very loved and loving person. I understand what you mean about life going on, as we lost both of my grandparents this past autumn. Thank you for taking the time to share this, for yourself and for your mother 🙂

  6. I’ve read your beautiful eulogy a number of times and am reminded of how much she meant to everyone in the family. You said things so well… it’s a true and awesome reflection of the love she had for you. (Sidebar: when I spoke with her, I always knew that the best way to get her to laugh with that endearing, playful chuckle everyone was so fond of, was to mention you… not even a particularly cool story; just ANYTHING about you! It is also true that this took on a whole other dimension of joy when Darcee was introduced into the picture). To me (and as you know), your mom was another “mami:” beautiful, a Santa Claus, a face that radiated joy, fun and a zest for adventure with a mega-watt smile and the personification of overflowing generosity. I’ll never forget the thoughtful gifts she gave me –the many trips to and delicious, coursed meals she had pre-selected at Antoine’s, the French Quarter and Bayou swamp tours (in a glass-bottomed boat!), making arroz con huevos for me in Atlanta, how she knew I liked Twizzlers and how she cuddled and smiled with little Clara. She never stopped sharing her post-partum nurse’s advice and I can still hear her stories and urgent “don’t forget!” tips in my memory. I won’t forget… Lili won’t ever be forgotten.

  7. I’ve read your beautiful eulogy a number of times and am reminded of how much she meant to everyone in the family. You said things so well… it’s a true and awesome reflection of the love she had for you. (Sidebar: when I spoke with her, I always knew that the best way to get her to laugh with that endearing, playful chuckle everyone was so fond of, was to mention you… not even a particularly cool story; just ANYTHING about you!). To me (and as you know), your mom was another “mami:” beautiful, a Santa Claus, a face that radiated joy, fun and a zest for adventure and the personification of overflowing generosity. I’ll never forget the thoughtful gifts she gave me –the many trips to and delicious, coursed meals she had pre-selected at Antoine’s, the French Quarter and Bayou swamp tours (in a glass-bottomed boat!), making arroz con huevos for me in Atlanta, how she knew I liked Twizzlers and how she cuddled and smiled with little Clara. She never stopped sharing her post-partum nurse’s advice and I can still hear her stories and urgent “don’t forget!” tips in my memory. I won’t forget… Lili won’t ever be forgotten.

  8. Eric,
    You did a beautiful job with your Mother’s eulogy. I can tell she was a wonderful lady. I wish we could have known her! Comfort and blessings to you and Darcee, your sister, and all of your family. I have enjoyed hearing about them, and feel they are very special people. You are in our thoughts and prayers! We love you and Darcee!

  9. Dearest Eric, your beloved Mom is do very proud of you, loves you and is always with you. You wrote beautifully and truthfully, describing your mom exactly how I remember her. I wish I could have attended the funeral. I am do proud of you and We love you and Darcee so very much. Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute to your dear Mom. XOXO

  10. Dear Eric,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. But, as you expressed in your beautiful eulogy, now she is with you wherever you go! May your mother’s spirit and memories always fill your heart.
    May God Bless You,
    Janet

  11. Oh Eric, Darcee was right. You have given the perfect eulogy for your Mom. Our time with her in our lives was so very short but our pain from her passing makes it feel so much longer. I think of her as “sweet Lili” and she shared Mark and I’s indescribable joy, and thanksgiving to God for bring you and Darcee together. I love you so dearly. My prayers for your comfort, strength and healing are forever yours.

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